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Rating: 3.6/5

Review: "Conan the barbarian movie review"

From the director of the remake Friday the 13th and Pathfinder, you will know that this will turn out to be a gore-feast. Well, that's true. Conan the barbarian is nothing but bloody and gory action and nudity. The story is just there for nothing; the story is just a straight-foward revengence story.

The story: Nothing you should know about it for it is almost none. The action scenes are the ones that string up the movie with some simple vengence story. It is really an action-packed movie. Reviewers who say that the action scenes start every less than five minutes are telling the truth. After a brief introduction about barbarians, the movie starts in the middle of a war where Conan is born. Then, we are getting frequent action scenes after some minutes of talking and unintentionally funny dialogues. The bad thing about those frequent action scenes is that they are uninspired action scenes; generic action scenes. I have seen nothing new about them except the brutality but even that's seen in violent war movies. The climax is rushed and noisy, with things being blown up and the camera work suddenly becomes too frenetic and shakey with fast editing. The best action scene is that Conan has to fight with sand monsters who easily flip in and out of the sand. Music by Tyler Bates is alright but at some points in the movie, he tries to do an epic score but it becomes laughable.

Overall: It tries too hard to be an epic movie even the music shows but it does not feel like an epic movie for some reasons. I guess one of the reasons is that the director tries to cram many action scenes into the movie and it turns out to be some noisy and loud fart-ass movie. Not to say I don't like action-packed movies but this one's action scenes do not even impress me. On the positive side, it is not too bad. At least it is action-packed instead of some dramatic and slow-paced movie. On the other hand, it is annoyingly edited in Singapore for the M-18 rating. The sex scene is cut. Wow. That may have made the movie better. Action and epic movie fans and gorehounds may catch this. And I am not sure whether anybody else is interested.

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